Narcissistic and codependent relational styles in adulthood originated as unconscious psychological defenses in early development.  If the child's bond with the primary caregiver was characterized by repeated unempathic and non-mirroring responses, the child may resort to compromising his or her own identity to placate the person desired (codependence) or to debasing and invalidating the object of affection so as to never be shamed again (narcissism).